Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
