Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
why is half of my head shaved?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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