i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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