I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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