I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
