I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
