Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
