turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
