the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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