i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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