It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
