I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
No subtext here. People are naked.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize