he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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