he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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