I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
