i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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