If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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