doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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