Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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