can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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