Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
