You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i was born a porn star she said
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
