Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Its about making memories worth repressing
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
