i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize