i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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