Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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