Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
