how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
