Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
