See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Everyone says I win the strip club
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
