Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
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She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
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Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill