If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.