matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.