Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found

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(314): I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found http://tfl.nu/6w2n

Replies (0) Good night (882) Bad night (1033)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.

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(505): Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops. http://tfl.nu/78kv

Replies (75) Good night (1022) Bad night (6627)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I could make wine with my vomit

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(503): I could make wine with my vomit http://tfl.nu/9wng

Replies (4) Good night (836) Bad night (2815)
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(408): View more from California

How was your sisters wedding?

(1-408): View more from California

Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.

(408): View more from California

sisterhood ftl.

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(408): How was your sisters wedding? (1-408): Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so. (408): sisterhood ftl. http://tfl.nu/zr4n

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(303): View more from Colorado

Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!

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(303): Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties! http://tfl.nu/mly2

Replies (12) Good night (947) Bad night (4757)
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(248): View more from Michigan

it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar

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(248): it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar http://tfl.nu/5trr

Replies (12) Good night (3202) Bad night (2174)
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(314): View more from Missouri

doooooooo herrrrrrrrr

(504): View more from Louisiana

I'm out of practice. be my yoda

(314): View more from Missouri

put your penis in her you must.

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(314): doooooooo herrrrrrrrr (504): I'm out of practice. be my yoda (314): put your penis in her you must. http://tfl.nu/ti1e

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(240): View more from Maryland

boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill

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(240): boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill http://tfl.nu/6vp9

Replies (148) Good night (3710) Bad night (12635)
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(714): View more from California

My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.

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(714): My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win. http://tfl.nu/b8se

Replies (15) Good night (5422) Bad night (1369)
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(440): View more from Ohio

The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.

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(440): The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right. http://tfl.nu/kh4m

Replies (5) Good night (1944) Bad night (772)
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(216): View more from Ohio

He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.

(1-216): View more from Ohio

Go her

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(216): He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman. (1-216): Go her http://tfl.nu/p01p

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(771): View more from

i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.

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(771): i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey. http://tfl.nu/c3n2

Replies (11) Good night (609) Bad night (1217)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.

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(248): I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade. http://tfl.nu/28nt

Replies (0) Good night (722) Bad night (413)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one

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(306): he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one http://tfl.nu/3jlh

Replies (3) Good night (606) Bad night (420)
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(512): View more from Texas

Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.

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(512): Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking. http://tfl.nu/ecx3

Replies (1) Good night (176) Bad night (330)

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