It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
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Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
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I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.