You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
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the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
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Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens