Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's

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  (443): i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's http://tfl.nu/fnpd
  Replies (38) Good night (3398) Bad night (671)
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  (510): View more from California

  He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.

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  (510): He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him. http://tfl.nu/gqvc
  Replies (13) Good night (877) Bad night (3452)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with

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  (978): you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with http://tfl.nu/g7w5
  Replies (41) Good night (1080) Bad night (5329)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!

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  (205): you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!! http://tfl.nu/1wys
  Replies (9) Good night (6295) Bad night (1130)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!

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  (443): just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?! http://tfl.nu/h1we
  Replies (13) Good night (6801) Bad night (1177)
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  (949): View more from California

  hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk

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  (949): hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk http://tfl.nu/17n5
  Replies (7) Good night (1302) Bad night (3877)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you

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  (518): i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you http://tfl.nu/aqjq
  Replies (8) Good night (2955) Bad night (1331)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?

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  (425): This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it? http://tfl.nu/qkoi
  Replies (2) Good night (2183) Bad night (812)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm drinking too much free beer

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.

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  (651): I'm drinking too much free beer (508): Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible. http://tfl.nu/a7hm
  Replies (14) Good night (2489) Bad night (1187)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.

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  (814): The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise. http://tfl.nu/8q09
  Replies (4) Good night (615) Bad night (874)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.

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  (706): He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex. http://tfl.nu/pzxj
  Replies (5) Good night (1901) Bad night (430)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.

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  (704): I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes. http://tfl.nu/6fin
  Replies (5) Good night (899) Bad night (615)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this

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  (218): my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this http://tfl.nu/wrij
  Replies (7) Good night (1417) Bad night (365)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea

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  (727): I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea http://tfl.nu/2xog
  Replies (0) Good night (372) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS

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  (330): I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS http://tfl.nu/gv75
  Replies (1) Good night (409) Bad night (246)

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