Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.