After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
