just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
