Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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