They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
