I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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