k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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