Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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