My first STD was from a foam party
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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