she was so not down for the gang bang
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
