well I can't set my house on fire every night
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize