I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
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Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
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Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.