I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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