I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
