I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
