I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
