I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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