I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
