so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
