some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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