Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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