The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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