The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
only you would photoshop your dick
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
