I think i peed on brittanys purse
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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