Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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