what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
