hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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