and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
