How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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