Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
